Hi People!

I know it's a long, long time ago since I have written an entry to my journal or since I have checked this side at all. Sorry about that, but I seem to have too much life at all... ;)

... which means that things have been working very fine for me.

Still doing my two (sometimes three) jobs at once although I am finally going to quit my old one (the youth care-taking) this March. after that I will work a bit more for the family therapy institution and aside from that I will start a training for becoming a psychotherapist which will require about 6 years of school-like education and practical studies and a lot of money which i have to invest. *sigh*
But, well, that's what I always wanted to achieve in the long run. So be it as it may...

Private life is almost fantastic at the moment - I have a relationship since last summer which is - surprise, surprise - still surviving. My gf is gorgeous and fulfilling my life to an extent I never ever have expected (even though I was longing for something like this). Sceptical as I am, I still do not dare to plan any common future (like moving together etc) but since we live close to each other there is no need for this yet. But actually it is as we would already share a common household (which we BTW did for about two months in autumn when she temporarily had no flat in Salzburg and was looking for a new one). Anyway, so much for this part of my life.

My current commitment with job (changes), education, and relationship as well as my financial situation make it unlikely to come to any gathering in the near future, however I do not want to leave the BwB community forever and hope that there will be more chances of meetings someday. I was busy and distracted but of course I have not forgotten how nice and fun it is to hang around with the BwB. Hope you are all okay (and I will find this out by reading your logs, soon).

Take care

Fabian

Will finally make it to Oxford. Was extremely stressed since last Wednesday the colleague of mine who was supposed to do the substitude care-taking for my client families told me she doesn't feel ready for so much responsibility... and this after one week before she clearly had volunteered to do it (otherwise I would have asked other colleagues instead in order to have a back-up plan). I can understand her to a certain extent - she is still a beginner and doesn't have own cases yet and it looked like my boss talked her into it. But he said he trusts her to do it and she really could have voiced some doubts before... at least to me. The problem for me was, that my team is completely new to me (I barely have all of their phone numbers yet) and I had no time for meeting them last week... nor was their anytime to ask members of other teams, nor to meet candidates for my substitude for interviews and informational exchange, not their was even time for them getting introduced to my clients, according to my dense schedule one week before my vacation. The only one of my time who vlonteered was a colleague who was even more of a n00b than the former and my boss vetoed against it... Fortunately last monday one of the other team members called me back and said she would do it.... how glad I am! :D

Finally, the cash for my new job is coming in. Time to spend some money abroad before the state collects the tax. :p

Have broken up with my gf. It was ok for both of us - I got used to this way as far as distant relationships are concerned. We had a very good last conversation. I am sad that it is over, of course, but I guess it would not have worked in the ong run, anyway.

Looks like that not the quality of my relationships is increasing, but definitely the quality of my breaking ups. If I ever make an advertisement for finding a partner I should somehow mention this as a "plus" for me. ;)

Ok, haven't posted for a while but I was just busy, busy, and busy.

Things are going fine for me at the moment. I quit my old job and am only working for them on a free contract base til my last client will leave our program(which will be most likely this September). I certainly will miss the job and especially my team - with some of them I will most likely keep a friendship - but it's time to progress, I guess.
The new job is very demanding but they already granted me a better salary than they have announced to me in the first place - which is an incredible good news for me, of course. Let's see how much the state will let me keep from this. :p
More about my new job on a later entry... at the moment I am just enjoying my better financial possibilities.

Am a bit stressed about the car buying.. still am driving a car I could lent from someone else. But during the next few weeks I will have to buy my own.. a used one, of course, because of my lack of saved money I have at the moment. However I feel very insecure about this cause it will be my first car and I am afraid of catching one which is not reliable enough. Fortunately my brother will support me on this. Let's see...

Meanwhile, I had some meetings with my new gf.. twice in Vienna and once in Budapest. So far, it went very well, even though during the last one - which took place during the Easter holidays - the first arguments happened and I am feeling very unhappy about it. Not about the arguments in itself, but about my own emotional reactions to them and to the situation in general. Need to think about it more, but it looks like that I keep on sticking to the same patterns from relationship to relationship and I do not like what this might mean.
OTOH, she is just lovely and I really want to spend more time with her.
Can anyone believe that she thinks that Leonard Cohen was to sad for her to stand his music? How odd... :p

Anyway.. looks like I will be able to get to the Oxford meeting and looking forward to meet people from the board again after such a long time of barely ANY interaction. It feel strange, but whatever...

Have some interesting weeks behind me...

My new job started very interesting. I am going to take care of two families in an area close to mine. The first will be about a patchwork familiy where one of the elder siblings has gotten sexually abused by a former husband of the mother (who is also the father of two of the younger siblings). That guy is in jail but since the youth welfare office accuses the mother of having "passively supported2 the abuse they have been considering to take away a much younger foster child she is currently taking care of cause they fear another abuse might occur. So, my duty would be to find out what is going on in this family, kind of controlling whether the foster child is in danger, and trying to improve the relationship between the mother and her children. It's going to be an unpleasant start, though, since there are a lot of tensions between the mother and the social worker from the youth office and both are trying to make me side with them.
The other family is about a mother who is an alcoholic, but currently doing a therapy and staying abstinent. But since the fathers of her boys and the grandparents are putting a lot of pressure on her she needs support in order to be prevented of starting to drink again and also to improve the education of her kids. Lot of work for me, as it seems...

Privately, I am doing very well. Had been to Vienna with my new gf last weekend and it was very nice. Even though we turned out to have very different needs - as far as sleeping rhythm*, eating, and daily schedule are concerned, which can cause problems, if you are not prepared for that - we did very well all things considered. Looks like she fell in love with me completely, but my own feelings for her have grown as well. We certainly will try to meet again, soon. (Vienna turned our to be a very nice place for that.)

*For example, the time we arrived for friday night was already very late and I had been extremely tired cause I regularly stood up around 5:30am during weekdays while she was very agitated which costed me a lot of sleep! ;)
The next day I was up very early and wanted to spemd time with her but she slept til 3pm.. geez! :p

Ok, still haven't got an icon cause I have troubles finding one that matches the 100*100 criterion and a software that manipulates it I do not possess. For fixing the advertisement problem I have been too lazy so far anyway. Choke on it!

Anyway, had a nice weekend.. spent a lot of time going out and dancing - something I never done when I had been younger.

Next week will be interesting cause I will start with a new job: After having been care-taking of teenagers I will now work with whole families, though on a more therapeutic level. Let's see how I will be able to stand this new challenge. Both money and education wise it will certainly improve my life.

Privately, I am enjoying a new relationship, currently. She is, again, from a different place - fuck that! - but I so far enjoy the chats we have, and I am going to meet her again on the first weekend of February in Vienna. I think then we will see how serious it will be. In general I became hesitating to get enthusiastic after a couple of disappointments with distant relationships. But well, would be also stupid to not allow myself to get committed again at all. I just try to enjoy life.

Current Mood: lazy

Jesus Christ - so little time, so much things to do on this site. Dunno where to to start and which I even care about....

Anyway, got here cause I got recommended to in order to keep track of people I like. So, hello to everyone whose usernames I could figure out so far. (Seems they are not many!).

Might even do more entries at some point, though never a lot for the whole conception of a "journal" is not my cup of tea at all.

See you, guys!

Fabian

:)